Chapter 1
Present day, in late November—midway through the Kansai region’s SS Qualifying Rounds, in a coffee shop with a nationwide chain
……
Suu~chan?
C’mon, wake up. Don’t make me of all people tell you not to fall asleep when you’re greeting customers.
…Oh, yes. I’m fine; I’m conscious.
Are you really fine? If you want, you can go rest back at the ryokan and leave the rest to us, y’know?
It’s not like we’re pressed for time right now anyway, right?
No, no. It’s difficult for Leo-san and Sena-senpai to do as they like, so I have to pull my weight in their stead.
Don’t get so carried away though? You’re worrying me!
Yep yep. Thanks to those special secret orders for SS this year, the leaders have been shackled in several ways. It makes it hard for them to move around.
And if they try to force the issue, they’ll just end up with a few broken bones.
Sigh. I can’t help but wonder why there are such rules as secret orders—and orders in general.
They don’t need to admonish us in this way; we’ll go at it in earnest either way.
……
But I digress. Please excuse us, Crazy:B.
Please divulge your current situation in accordance to the agreement you made with Knights.
Haha, you’re a pretty stuffy guy, ain’tcha hot shot?
It’s important to mind one’s manners, no matter the circumstances. …And no matter who you’re working with.
That right? ‘S easier to get people to listen to ya when you doll up your words, is it? I getcha.
Guess we oughta thank the guys who came before us for makin’ up all those fancy words, huh? ♪
—That said! I’ll stick to good ol’ Japanese tradition and mind my manners. I got that report for ya!
Aaaaall for you super-amazing, super-cool Knights!
……
…Hey, Niki. Don’t go fallin’ asleep in the middle of our meeting with these sexy bastards!
If widdle ol’ Niki wanna sleep so bad, I’d be happy to make it so you never wake up! Gyahahaha ☆
Owowowow! I give, I give! Why’d you start shaking me so suddenly?! This is cruel and unusual punishment…!
Can’t you stop abusing me like this?! C’mon, at least take a note outta Knights’s book and tell me off a little more nicely!
Hah? What, you want me to give you a little pap on the nose like you’re a naughty kitty-cat? If I spoil you like that, y’ain’t never gonna learn from your mistakes—You’ll be a little kitten forever! So it’s corporal punishment for you!
Oh, come on! I can’t say anything without you making it into some kinda problem! I’m not joking around, Rinne-kun…!
You’re just bullying me ‘cause you wanna relieve stress, aren’t you~?
You think I’m just some punching bag you can beat up whenever you want?!
—You’ve made a surprisingly accurate assessment of yourself, Shiina.
Huh? Hey! You were supposed to be nice and comfort me and tell me it’s not true?!
Uwaaaaaah, this is too cruel! I can’t be with you cold, unfeeling people right now, I’m going home! I can’t even eat anything I want here!
If you leave, I’ll kill ya. It’s against the rules to go to any other region during the SS Qualifiers.
And there’s heavy penalties for people who violate those rules. Or did you forget that? Huh?
Urgh, don’t just come out and say you’re gonna kill me~! Didn’t you learn in kindergarten you’re not supposed to say mean things like that?
Kindergarten? The hell’s that, some kinda food? Gyahahaha ☆
Umm…?
—Oh my. Forgive us for making such a needless ruckus.
Yeah, for sure. You better think long and hard about what you did, Niki! We’re reeeeal sorry ‘bout our little idiot here… ♪
Uh, huh? Why am I the one getting in trouble?!
Gyahaha! No matter the time, no matter the place, it’s never the worst guys in the world gettin’ blamed for shit—It’s the weakest ones!
Come onnnn! I thought you’d already reached the limits for how unreasonable you can be~!
—HiMERU apologizes for all of this. Our usual buffer, Oukawa, has been separated from us for various reasons, and HiMERU can’t seem to stop them when they start messing around.
It’s quite all right. There’s no need to apologize for that.
Rather, I’d even go as far to say I envy how close you all are, and how happy you seem together.
……