Chapter 19

Of course, Tomoya-kun is also an extremely charming character.

That boy really is insane. He is so easily swayed by his environment, and yet, no matter where he is or what he does, he always falls in the category of “normal.”

“Normal” is the epicenter of everything. Whether it be consciously or not, he has always stood at the center of the world’s stage.

No matter his environment, no matter his co-actors, he lives his life the same way—always as himself.

He has long secured a place for himself in the majority, a haven where one can easily avoid criticism—that is to say, a haven where one can easily survive.

He’s a natural at it. Even though he spent the whole of last year with me, someone so far outside that standard—

He was able to remain pure white, to prevent my colors from bleeding onto him. He never once wavered or broke.¹

That is not something so easily imitated.

What is it about him? It’s different from Hokuto-kun, who will not do anything he’s not programmed to do. Ahh, how deeply interesting… ♪

You seem to be surprisingly fond of him.

Are you jealous, Eichi? ♪ Well, that’s all right. You can still understand the gist of a story by following the protagonist alone—

Though, if you wish to understand the story to its very core, you’ll need to give your attention to all of the characters!

In reality, there is no distinction between protagonist and supporting cast. Everyone deserves their chance in the spotlight!

Hmm, all right. I get it—That’s what this was all about.

So you were planning on just enjoying yourself as a true spectator this time around, then?

Exactly. It looked as though I wouldn’t get my turn on stage for some time, and so I thought I should have some fun with my free time.

You know, I’ve always harbored regrets… No, it is a mark of shame that it wasn’t until high school that I met someone who I could truly call my friend.

As a child, I never played around with friends. My time was spent practicing and training and then performing various tricks to please everyone around me.

So I hypnotized myself to erase my memories and returned to my childhood.

And then, I went to the amusement park that you all worked so hard to create, and I indulged in a spot of tomfoolery with a boy who I thought might possibly become my friend.

You were looking for tomfoolery, so you chose Mashiro Tomoya-kun, hm?²

Of course, I didn’t choose him because of a pun only you could make. Tomoya-kun and I are very similar—We share the same dream.

I thought that, had we met as children, we could have become friends.

As I am now, we are no longer equals. But if I were five, it would not have been entirely impossible.

Because I loved everyone, because I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, I chose to be good—And so I became lonely, unable to assert myself.

If I could be with that boy, who could recognize such a sad child and reach out to me—

Then we might have become friends; we might have been able to play with each other.

That was the dream I was wishing for.

……

But I’m not very skilled at acting on my own desires~!

And so I requested that Gatekeeper-san give me an order.

He may have intended to give me the order to obey his every command in order to use me as a hostage to keep you restrained.

But I used that to my advantage to get the order I wanted.

Even if you wanted to scold me for my selfish behavior after all was said and done, I could use the excuse that I had no choice—It was an order.

I wouldn’t scold you for that. If there’s something you want to do, you can just do it, you know?

I suppose you’re right. However, I have never really done such a selfish thing before—

I became consumed with worry, as if I were a child disobeying his parents for the first time.

I can’t handle being scolded or denied! I was trying to minimize the damage wherever I could!

…And I once cast you, a person like that, as a villain who would be abused and denied by the entire world.

But that was just a role I played. What happens on the stage has no bearing on reality.

I thought you considered your whole life one big play.

I thought so, too. But I was simply pretending not to see it, chasing my true self off to the wings of an endlessly expanding stage.

And in the wings of that glittering, sparkling stage, far off in an abyss unseen by anyone… was a lonely, crying child who longed to be saved.

And it was Tomoya-kun, with that sharp sight of his, who found that child—me.

I was starving for the simple pleasures and love that everyone else is given so freely.

So I decided to spoil him a bit this time—because of that lonely child inside of me.

I’ve told you for so long to take a break from all your work, to let yourself play around a bit, to take better care of yourself… It would be disingenuous of me to not do the same.

…I really am jealous.

So you would choose that boy over me as your playmate.

Oh, I wish I’d been even meaner to Tomoya-kun.

Meaner? Just what did you do?

Well, compared to the horrible things you did to him in the theater club, this was nothing more than a child’s prank.

Fufufu. But Tomoya-kun has become surprisingly strong because of those experiences—

He will be able to brush off whatever pranks you pull, Eichi. And then, when his turn comes, he will come gallantly riding in. Always pouring his soul into everything, always facing forward—just like the main character of a story.