Chapter 10

My mom and dad took me to my grandpa’s house for a visit.

Grandpa’s house was really far away… Even though we piled into the car early in the morning, apparently we didn’t get there until almost noon.

Oh—I say “apparently” because I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already nighttime.

I’d been looking forward to playing around at Grandpa’s house, but I fell asleep and ruined all the fun. I was so upset…

Maybe it was because they pitied me, but Grandma and Grandpa took me to a nearby river.

There were fireflies living by the river, and the sight of them was so exciting.

It was so beautiful, so magical, and so bright… I wanted to show it to my mom and dad, too.

So I caught some of the fireflies.

I was slow and clumsy, so I only managed to catch three of them. But I shut them up tight in my hand so they wouldn’t get away and went back to the house.

But… When we got there, I opened my hand and… I thought, “What?”

The fireflies that had been glowing so spectacularly weren’t glowing at all anymore.

I wondered what could possibly have happened, and after a little while I realized I’d killed the fireflies.

I was horrified at what I’d done. If I hadn’t caught them, they’d still be happily flying around…

I was so sad I started bawling.

My parents tried consoling me, saying it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t know any better, next time I should just be more careful, but…

Even now, I still can’t shake the feeling that I’d done a terrible thing.

Ah, so that is why thou didst raise thy voice uncharacteristically when we proposed using fireflies.

Yes… I don’t want everyone else to feel the same regret I do.

…No, that’s wrong. I’m sorry, that was another lie.

It’s true that I don’t want them to feel that same regret I did, but there’s also another reason.

Hm? What dost mean?

Kanzaki-senpai, you asked me why I’m still working on the lanterns even though we all finished making them yesterday. It’s because they remind me of the fireflies.

If their glow is too weak, it’ll make me think of the fireflies who died in my hands… So I want to make more lanterns, lanterns that shine even brighter than the fireflies.

I just didn’t want to remind myself of the past because I’d get sad.

…Hm. I knew not that thou hadst such feelings, Shino.

Ahaha… I’m sure that for everyone else, light is something beautiful and comforting.

But for me, it’s fleeting and short-lived—something that’ll disappear one day.

Nay. Not all lights go out.

Huh—What do you mean? Lights are supposed to go out, right? No matter what. Is there even such a thing as a light that never goes out?

Yea. In truth, I know of one. Willst thou allow me to reminisce on the past for a moment?

Of course, I don’t mind, but…?

Long ago… The same as thee, this tale happen’d afore my brother was born.

I’m the eldest son of a warrior family. From the time I was young, I was trained by my father, who excelled in martial arts.

I am still lacking, but I was e’en more inexperienced back then. On one particular occasion, I abandoned my training.

No more, I thought. I didn’t want to do this any longer. Why must I be the only one to suffer thus?

I wanted to play outside like everyone else… so I thought. And thus I threw a tantrum and bawled mine eyes out.

My father was a quiet man. Therefore, he did not scold me, nor say anything to me at all.

Instead, he left me there and vanished from my sight. Thinking I had disappointed my father, I cried e’en more.

Fufu… Looking back, father must have left me because he knew not how to handle my crying self. When he return’d, he had brought my mother with him.

Mother wiped away my tears and held my hand, and then they bade me follow along after them.

We climbed the mountain and pushed through the grass… and there I saw a beautiful sight.