Chapter 7
Hey~ You guys done talking yet? Well, even if you weren’t, you are now! Get ready! We’re up any second now~ ♪
Yeah, hurry up. When you’re on stage, you’re supposed to forget about your personal life and do your job. This is just basic stuff here.
Just how many years have you been doing this now? Haven’t you learned anything from me?!
Ufufu, it really feels like I just can’t get hyped up these days without hearing Izumi-chan lay into us for no real reason ♪
I get you~ It’s like an alarm clock, or maybe like a school bell.
Senpais—Umm, forgive me, but what do you mean? I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been sabotaging our performance by hiding myself away for so long that I’m not privy to our present situation.
Don’t worry about it. We left halfway through too, so we’re all slackers here.
Well, Suu~chan didn’t really slack off. More like he was getting some much-needed rest.
Exactly. It’s not like we have the right to scold Tsukasa-chan for not getting here ‘til we’re down to the wire—He’s always so diligent, after all ♪
Yup! Suo~’s always carrying all the weight and making us worry about him, so this time we get to support him!
Isn’t that nice, Sena? Sooo~ nice?
Excuse me? No one ever said it was bad, right? Why are you acting like this is some reminder to me?
Now now… All of us completely bit it back there, so we should probably try playing nice instead of whining about every little thing.
I’m sure the fans will get angry if you don’t show even the slightest hint of remorse, too.
I don’t think that’s really a problem? Like we can say sorry, sure, but for what?
It’s not like we did anything wrong—All we did was lose. If it’s some sort of crime to betray our fans’ expectations, then well, I guess I’m sorry?
But our appeal isn’t just that we’re always fighting and winning, you know?
Well, we didn’t exactly lose, either. It was an accident, but thanks to Crazy:B turning things on their head at the last second—we were saved.
What do you mean…?
Fufu, you’re like a broken record, Suu~chan ♪
Oh, come on. It’s a good thing to voice your questions and ask for help when you need it, right?
The smarty-pants who think they know everything always end up embarrassing themselves when they finally let their true ignorance show.
That’s true. Better to ask and get embarrassed than not ask and never know.
Yeah, well anyway. It looks like just a while back, right when the SS Qualifiers were about to end, something completely insane was revealed.
Yup ♪ We were shocked to hear the news as soon as we got home!
What a surprise to hear that the winners of the Kansai region SS Qualifiers were—
Crazy:B, was it not?
I’ve heard only a small amount of news about it, but it seems as though, after having ripped a hefty amount of SSL$ from our hands, they turned their attack to other units as well, picking them off one by one to earn their money.
Yep. They just tore through everyone… They might have even gotten a monopoly on the majority of the SSL$ that was distributed in Kansai.
Right… We managed to get some SSL$ back at the theater, but it was basically nothing more than a drop in the bucket.
Ngh. I apologize for the trouble… Or rather, I apologize for being unable to offer my assistance.
It’s fine. When you’re tired, you should take a break ♪
Yep yep, and it’s not like we’re fighting alone, either.
You guys sure got friendly while we were away…?
Wahaha ☆ It’s not like we can complain about something like that, though!
Anyway! You’d think that the problem here was that the underdog Crazy:B took down the powerhouse Knights to claim victory—But you’d be wrong!
The problem’s that there’s way too many winners!
Um? Can you please make this a little easier to understand…?
I mean, normally there’d only be one unit, at most two or three, who won the Qualifiers, right?
But! It looks like here in Kansai, all the units, including the ES idols and local idols, made it through!
So obviously, Knights won too! AKA we didn’t lose!
Okay…?
Fufu. It was all right after we got this huge lump of SSL$.
So we’d all have exactly the same amount of SSL$ at the end—
We redistributed the wealth to every other unit, fine-tunin’ it up to the end.
It ain’t forbidden to give out SSL$ like that, so.
An’ as a result, all the units had the same amount of SSL$ at the end of the Qualifiers.
And~ The rules say that only the unit with the most SSL$ at the end can advance to the Finals.
Here in Kansai, all our units had “the most SSL$.” So all of us won.
Looks like the Administration, or I guess ES themselves, didn’t want anyone but Knights to win in this region, so they didn’t bother specifyin’ any numbers like “the top three units.”
Accordin’ to the rules, it’s just “the highest earner,” so there was no precedent for every unit to win.
I–I see… So such a comical situation came to play out, then.
Truth is stranger than fiction, an’ reality’s stranger than rakugo.1
Funny, ain’t it—Rinne-han’s makin’ a fool outta ES for tryin’ to manipulate and control everything.
He completely overturned ES’s plans. And yanno, it’s pretty exhilaratin’ for me, too ♪
Y–yes, but… While I, too, feel relieved about this development, is this truly all right?
In the other regions, only one or two units may proceed to the Finals. However, in the Kansai region, all units are advancing?
The rules which will be enacted during the SS Finals are yet unknown. Will the competition be realized properly under conditions such as these?
I reckon so. I mean, the whole concept of this is just barely stuck together with Krazy Glue and some sparkly stickers.
ES is prolly kickin’ up a real big fuss right about now, as if the whole world got turned upside down—Bless their little hearts ♪
You’ll have to forgive me, Nii-han—I wasn’t taught to mind my manners.