Chapter 7

…… (claps his hands together)

Please let us win SS this year!

(—Is basically what I have to pray for, right. As a front. There’s cameras rolling, and idols’ve gotta act how they’re expected to.)

(But personally, I don’t have as much of a hangup about that anymore.)

(Ever since I was a kid, all I’ve been living for has been the chance to put Sagami Jin to shame. For better or worse, he’s like some god to me.)

(And if I don’t straighten out this string that ties us together, I’m never gonna be able to live my life…)

(Honestly, there were plenty of times I thought I could just call it quits if I could just crush him and get the last laugh.)

(I was never allowed to have toys or play with friends as a kid, so at the very least I wanna continue improving as an idol and make sure I have some kinda value—)

(I’ve gotta prove that my efforts to hold back my tears weren’t in vain. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to look at my kid self with anything but pity.)

(But things are different now. I’m not the same person I was back then, when I had to keep chipping away at what was right in front of me just to survive.)

(I can reach out and grab Sagami Jin now. He’s not an idol anymore, not just a figment of my dad’s imagination—He’s human.)

(When I saw how he wore that idol costume he prolly didn’t even want to put on, and how he took me on so surely—)¹

(I dunno, it just drove out the demon in me.)

(‘Course, it’s hard to break the habits I formed as a kid. Even now when I see his face, my body instinctively goes right into battle mode.)

(But when I’m so busy working as an idol day after day, sometimes I even forget he exists.)

(I dunno if they think it’s some foolproof joke or what, but they’ll bring up Sagami Jin with me on TV programs and stuff…)

(There are times when I have to think for a sec, like they’re asking me about something I got no interest in.)

(Haha! How could you not be interested, Sazanami Jun! You’ve been living your whole life just to face off against that guy and surpass him!)

(But seriously, that’s just not my top priority at the moment.)

(I don’t get all mixed-up thinking about stuff like everyone else, I just trust in my body to respond.)

(And my body musta decided that that isn’t all that important anymore.)

(No matter how much I’ve been hurt and how much I’ve been stepped on, I’ve just kept on pushing through—)

(This is the body I’ve polished and refined!)

(So what, you got a problem with that, god? You bastard! Goddamn!)

Come on, Jun-kun, how long are you going to keep praying? You sure have a lot of wishes, hm? So greedy… ☆

…Fufu. Well, Ibara will be acting alone for a while, so we’re free to spend this time however we see fit.

Then do you want to walk around the shrine? It’s not a tourist attraction though, so there probably isn’t much to do here.

…That’s right. At their core, shrines are places of worship.

…They should be wholly separated from business ventures and other worldly things.

…But so long as they are included under the umbrella of capitalist society, even God cannot escape its ties to that.

…God exists only where there are people. That is faith.

I don’t really get that whole “god” thing! Is it really that important?

I’m sure it’s like, “Why are you saying something like that when you call yourself Eden and Eve and stuff?”—But really, what’s so bad about being worldly?

…There’s nothing particularly bad about it. You’re correct as always, Hiyori-kun.

…However, we should not turn a blind eye to the fact that there are people who live with that as their moral support.

…God, money—Both are illusions created by humans to make their lives happier and wealthier.

…So it is never correct to trample over them.

……

(Uhhh? Can you guys please not argue when there are people trying to pray?!)

(Ohii-san and Nagi-senpai’ve been acting weird for a while now, kinda tense? Or really, I guess it’s mostly Nagi-senpai who’s been pretty weird?)

(He’s been doing too many suspicious things, like holing himself up in that whack-ass abandoned temple.)

(I can’t tell what he’s thinking at all—even less than before… Man, I hate thisss…)

(I get the idols at CosPro weren’t put together to play nice with each other like all the Yumenosaki guys.)

(It was all to drive a profit. We’re only together ‘cause it’s necessary for our jobs.)

(But still, I’m this guy who was completely trapped in my own head, controlled by my shitty dad and Sagami Jin—)

(And it’s these guys who made all that a little easier, and a littler freer.)

(I guess it’s my turn to do that now, but…)

(I dunno what I’m supposed to even do? I don’t even get what’s going on, so how am I s’posed to know what to do?!)

(Goddamn! I’m so dumb, it’s pissin’ me off!)