Chapter 5

I get why you’d be a little cautious, wondering if I’m gonna throw them… Hinata-kun.

Everything I say is inconsistent and way too emotional, and I always act before I think.

I really am like a little kid—no, like a little brother.

I was trying to act like a little brother as much as I could, just like how you forced yourself to play the big brother. We did it automatically, without thinking.

Maybe if we could make a distinction between us as a big brother and little brother…

If we could distinguish ourselves that way, then that guy who calls himself our father would never call us disgusting ever again.

He said he couldn’t tell us apart, that it made us creepy…

And as sad as you felt hearing those words, I was hurt just as much by what he said—maybe even more.

We’re twins. We’re one person in two bodies, so our feelings are the same. Neither of us wanted that to happen again.

Yep, neither of us. But y’know, back then Dad wasn’t a great guy, really.

He was really going through it after Mom died, and I think he just said it in the spur of the moment.

That’s just how it is with dads. They didn’t spill their blood to give birth to us, they didn’t feel that pain in their stomachs…

They probably don’t really feel like it’s their kid, right?

And we’re nothing like him at all—We really are the children of demons~ ♪¹

Yeah, sure, but there are things you should and shouldn’t say.

And I will never forgive that man, even when I die.

Mom loved us, she wanted us, she gave us life… So I will never accept the guy who looked at us like we were terrifying monsters as my father.

Then I’ll accept him, and I’ll forgive him. If we didn’t get along with our parents, Mom would be sad.

You’ve always been like that. Like you decided that if someone has to change, it’ll be you.

We share almost the exact same genes. We had the same interests and everything.

Then you changed your favorite color, your favorite foods, everything… You forced yourself to change.

So that even a father who couldn’t love his own kids—no, so everyone could tell us apart.

But can I tell you something, Hinata-kun?

You did something just as cruel as our father—maybe even worse. You pretended you couldn’t see “me.” You twisted it into impossible shapes and threw it in the garbage.

……

And then I was so lonely—I tried looking for you around the dump.

Year after year, every time you left me, every time you buried me somewhere, I dug myself back up.

I get how you feel, but I can’t agree with it…

At least talk to me about it. We were one person in two bodies, right? And yet you just keep throwing half of that “me” away without my permission.

You just keep splitting me down the middle with a knife or something and tossing me out, over and over.

It hurts so much—I’m bleeding out, and it’s cold, and—and that’s so cruel.

How could you…? I have the right to complain about it, don’t I? You murderer…!

No, Yuuta-kun, that’s not… I threw myself away, not you.

I got out of the way so no one could ever throw you out.

What makes you think you were in the way! I can’t walk if my right leg gives out, right? I can’t function if my right arm is gone!

And I can’t live without the right half of my brain!

That’s all just a metaphor, Yuuta-kun.

It’s not like we really share a body. You won’t spill a single drop of blood, and you can keep living as yourself, y’know?

In order to be happy, one of us had to be sacrificed.

And once you’re on your own, you’ll be just the same as everyone else—No one will be able to pick you out from a crowd.

I’ve thought that so many times, and I tried to make myself disappear, so many times…

But you kept chasing after me, Yuuta-kun. You really are a problem child, huh. Shouldn’t you outgrow that spoiled brat thing one of these days?

Stop treating me like a kid. We’re the same age.

We may be the same age, but by societal standards, that age is still childhood.

Okay, fine. Jeez, you always have a comeback, don’t you.

…Hey, Hinata-kun. I’ve been thinking about something.

Oh? You’re always thinking about something, Yuuta-kun. Maybe you’ll become a doctor or a minister one day~ Maybe you could even win a Nobel Prize ♪

That might not be just a pipe dream, you know. Because even on our own, we’re better than everyone else, right?

So in that case, if the two of us join forces, we’d be unstoppable.

We could make any dream come true with the two of us on the job.

Umm? What do you mean?

Nn~ I haven’t exactly gotten all my thoughts straight. But that’s why we should talk to a whole bunch of people and ask for their advice.

We’re still kids, so it’s fine if we take advantage of our elders.

Anzu-san, Sakuma-senpai, everyone else… I’m sure they’d be happy if we came to them and asked what we should do.

I realized this time just how many people care about us.

Before we knew it, it wasn’t just the two of us anymore.

You might have already noticed, but the conversation we’re having right now is being recorded—or rather, filmed.

It’ll be aired on the in-school TV program, and the whole school will know all about our problems and circumstances.

So if we just get everyone’s help thinking about things, I’m sure we’ll find some nice ideas.

So just—don’t worry, Hinata-kun. Don’t disappear. Don’t throw our “me” away again.

…Please, don’t jump.

Take my hand, and we can go back to where we belong.