Chapter 8

Huff—Hahh!

What the hell is all this?! It’s all so wrong!

Shh… Quiet, Tomoya-kun. The monsters will find us.

I don’t even know what the monsters are! What the hell are they supposed to be?!

Like I can kinda get why they’re wandering around on the streets, but why are they in stores and stuff too?!

We can’t even go get food or call the cops because of them! All we can do is keep running hand in hand like this!

Wait—Why are we holding hands? It’s making it hard to walk!

What point is there in yelling at me? It’s fine, isn’t it? We won’t be separated this way.

And besides, it’s warmer when we hold hands.

Urgh. Right, it’s the middle of winter. The sun’s already set, and if we keep walking around with just the clothes on our backs, we might freeze to death.

Should we go back to the apartment then? We can turn on the heat.

But there was that cop who turned into a monster and tried to pay us a visit or something… Ugh, I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore.

Anyway, we should find a safe place like that apartment. If we just keep wandering around aimlessly, we’re gonna get caught by a monster for sure.

I wish there was a train station or something, but it’s past the hours for them to be running, right?

… ♪

What’re you smiling about.

Ow! Don’t put so much pressure on my hand—It hurts!

I’m getting the feeling you’re making fun of me somehow.

Not at all! I just think that you’re a wonderful person, Tomoya-kun! You’re very level-headed and do whatever it is you have to do.

Uh, no. I’m really just running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Even still, I think you’re far better off than me, who can’t even think, let alone figure out what to do. I’ve been dragging you down this whole time.

It’s not like you can help it, you lost your memories… Well, no. If you’re faking it and making fun of me for being all panicked, that’s really shitty of you.

Why do you keep doubting me? Was I really so awful to you before? I really, truly don’t remember anything, okay?

Every time you say that, it sounds like a big fat lie. But urgh… I shouldn’t take out my frustrations on you just because you’re you.

So I’m sorry. It’s just that you look so happy and smiley no matter what happens, so it feels like I’m not getting any kind of response out of you and end up overdoing it.

But I am giving you a response—to indicate that I’m happy.

Ngh. But if you do that every single time, it feels more like I’m dealing with a robot.

…Ra*bits has been feeling like that lately, too. It’s not that we’ve hit a roadblock or anything, but it’s like we’re caught in a roundabout and doing the same thing over and over.

We’ve been coming up with different things to try at lives and such, but the reactions we get from the fans are all the same.

“Today was good too” and “So cute!” and “It’s nice to see Ra*bits the same as always” and—

It’s like we’re just superimposing the image of ourselves from yesterday onto the next day. Can we really keep doing the same old stuff? I feel like they’re going to get tired of it one of these days…

We give the crowd the same stuff every time. But that crowd gets greedy really quick, and they’re gonna start wanting something different.

……

Oh, sorry. That’s not the point—I’m just complaining.

Not at all. I think I can understand how you feel, Tomoya-kun.

Huh? But you can’t remember anything, right? How could you possibly understand?

And even if you could, you’re one of the Five Oddballs and part of ES’s Big Three. You’re a super genius—different from me in every way.

Even still. Aren’t we both human beings, both entertainers who perform to please others?

Wait, did you get your memory back? Do you remember who you are?

Yeah that’s right! You’re an entertainer! So much an entertainer that if you take that away, there’s nothing left of you!

Fufufu. Is that it? Well, I suppose that’s still true for me even now.

…?

From what I can parse, I only have memories up until I was five years old.

After that, it seems like everything else has vanished—

How in the hell did a five-year-old like you exist?

I don’t exactly have an answer for you. Well, many of my neighbors would say the same thing about me, too: that I’m so intelligent, that I’m so mature for my age.

You don’t even sound like a five-year-old… There’s a limit to being an early bloomer, you know.

You think so? I really am strange then, aren’t I?

Yeah. When I was five, I was more like someone’s pet.

If you look at my photo albums, it’s just me playing innocently with my toys, or crying whenever I saw my sister crying—

I was a normal kid, through and through.

Fufufu. To be moved to tears just by seeing your sister cry… You’ve always been very sensitive, haven’t you, Tomoya-kun?

I’m just easily influenced by others. I got caught up in my surroundings, like I wanted all the toys everyone else had and stuff. I felt better when I was the same as everyone else.

And the time when I didn’t read the room I ended up getting the short end of the stick.

I just got so worried about Hajime being teased, so I started going more out of my way to talk to him—and ended up isolating myself in the process.