Chapter 1

~… ♪

Miiika-chan ♪

Ngah?! Geh… Wh–what the heck~? Naru-chan, don’t just creep up from behind an’ hug me! I almost had a heart attack, yanno?

Ufufu, sorry. Mika-chan… You look like you’re in an unusually good mood today, so I wanted to ask you to send a little bit of your happies my way ♪

Well ‘course I’d do that, since it’s you, Naru-chan. But don’t do it so outta the blue like that, ‘kay~? Y’scared me half to death!

Sorry sorry~ But your reaction was just too cute, Mika-chan. Goodness, you’re such a scaredy-cat… ☆

Anyone’d be scared outta their mind if ya just hugged ‘em from behind all the sudden!

This kinda thing happens all the time in the horror movies. If I’d had a gun, I’d’ve accidentally shot ya the moment you surprised me—Like in Zombieland.

Zombieland? Wait wait, oh no! I’m sorry Mika-chan, were you in the middle of sewing something?

Your hand—your finger! You must’ve pricked it with the needle. You’re bleeding!

Ngah…? No kiddin’~?

“No kiddin’~?” Seriously? Ahh, I’m really really sorry!

Ummm, hang on. I’ve got a band-aid somewhere! I’ll take care of it, so just sit tight for a sec and hold this handkerchief on it!

Uhhh Naru-chan, I think you’re overreactin’ a bit… I don’t have a good sense of pain or nothin’, so even if ya prick me with a needle I barely feel it ♪

A li’l boo-boo like this’ll go away if you just spit on it~ ♪

Ugh, you’re way too calm about this! Let’s treat it properly, okay Mika-chan? I’ll take you to the nurse!

Gwah?! Don’t go pullin’ me around, Naru-chan! We’re makin’ too much noise~ An’ I seriously don’t want no one lookin’ at me?!

Aw, jeez~… I ain’t no match for you at all.

Y’said you were takin’ me to the nurse… but you were just usin’ me as an excuse to play hooky?

You look like you’d be a real good student, but you got a bit of a wild streak.

Ufufu. “Everything in moderation,” as I always say—And by that I mean “don’t put in too much effort” of course ♪

But I really did take you to the nurse, so you should at least be a little grateful! It’d suck if your wound got infected, so I had to take care of it ♪

Huh… But the one who took care of it was Sagami-sensei. Naru-chan, you were just chattin’ up that teacher with the glasses the whole time we were there, weren’tcha?

Well that’s fine, isn’t it? It was what I was hoping for. Sagami-sensei is known for being a slacker…

And as it turns out, the rumor that Kunugi-sensei sometimes does his work for him is true~ ♪

Oh my, I haven’t talked to Kunugi-sensei in ages! I’m so happy, my skin must be positively glowing! It’s true, love does makes you beautiful~ ♪

Ahh, this is bliss… I can’t figure out why he’s been avoiding me all this time~ It might be unrequited, but I can’t help loving him!

So that guy’s Kunugi-sensei, huh? He kinda looks just like you, Naru-chan.

Oh, no way! I’m so happy~ You can tell? The color of our hair, our glasses, they all match!

I like to pick out the same things as the people I like~ That’s just my maiden’s heart ♪

Ohh, so that’s it. But when I first met ya, Naru-chan, you were a lot more manly… I’s even a li’l bit scared of ya?

No no no, forget about that! Don’t go bringing up my dark past! I was just a stupid kid back then…!

Ahaha… But you like Kunugi-sensei, don’tcha? Y’never really tell people when you like ‘em, so I didn’t think you were interested in anyone.

Oh my, how perceptive! Well, for you at least!

I won’t deny it completely~ Ufufu. Love, hate, they’re both such strong emotions. I’m not very good with that kind of thing, you know?

Well, let’s leave it at that. Now, Mika-chan… As repayment for taking away this Narukami Arashi’s precious little time in life, you’ll have to buy me something sweet ♪

Huhhh? But Naru-chan, if y’hadn’t scared me in the first place, I wouldn’ta even got hurt.

But truth is, I’m low on cash, sooo? This place’s so expensive I can’t afford to treat you to nothin’~…

There you go telling lies again ♪

Your unit… Valkyrie, is it? You guys are real go-getters, aren’t you?

I’m sure you’re swimming in cash, so much so that it’s laughable ♪

You get paid for lives with that school currency, which can only be used within the school… But that also means you can use it here in the garden terrace.

I’m sure the pride and joy of the undefeated, invincible Valkyrie can spare a smidge of that to buy me just a little treat?

There! I win~ Fufu, now what should I get~? ♪

Naw, it’s true. I ain’t fibbin’~

Even Oshi-san went an’ praised me all like “You’re so earnest it makes you look like a fool. No, you really are just a fool.” See, see? ♪

Uh no, isn’t that just an insult? But c’monnn, are you seriously broke? But I’m so in the mood to stuff my face with sweets!

What are you even spending money on, clothes? Makeup? But you always look like you just rolled out of bed, so?

All that would just be pearls before swine—even though you have such a pretty face…

Ahaha, stop stop, I’m gettin’ all embarrassed~

You’re too good at this! Even if ya go butterin’ me up, I still can’t treat ya for real, but I could maybe… getcha somethin’ cheap ♪

For realsies? Then I’ll go ahead and get a mini cake! Excuse me, waiter~! We’re ready to order ♪