Sex Appeal 101

…Hm? Why won’t it come out, even when the button is pressed? If it’s broken—

—Oh, the Coke is sold out. HiMERU didn’t notice that the button was lit up.

(As HiMERU, Coke would be the right choice. But, well, there’s none left. He’ll just have to go with something else…)

(Black coffee it is, then.)

…Sigh.

(It really makes HiMERU feel so unlucky for the one drink he wanted to have been sold out.)

—Mm?

…… (staring at HiMERU)

—Sazanami, you should at least say hello if you’re going to stand around here. What on earth are you even doing? HiMERU doesn’t like being stared at like that…

And not to mention, it’s impolite. Perhaps it’s HiMERU’s fault, though, for trying to teach manners to a stray dog such as yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry for being a stray dog with no manners.

Well, I am sorry for staring at you without saying anything. I was just curious and all.

? What were you curious about?

You’ve just always got this whole thing about you. Pheromones, or something. They’re always, like, radiating off of you.

Guh?! —Cough! Cough—?!

Ahem—Hrm. May I ask where that came from? Did you perhaps hit your head? HiMERU is radiating nothing of the sort.

No way, dude. You totally are. Like, just a while back, when you were on the cover of that gravure magazine?

The one with the blurb about sex appeal or whatever on it. The ad was blown up and posted all over this train station.

Weren’t they calling you the idol industry’s king of sexy or something in this volume?

And besides, I saw it when I was watching you before, too. Even when you’re just buying a drink from a vending machine, every move you make is just so attractive. That’s gotta be sex appeal.

—…Why are you acting like this today? The praise keeps rolling off your tongue. Are you plotting something? HiMERU is not to be trifled with, you know.

I’m just saying what’s on my mind—I like what I like. Who do you think I am?

Well I mean, I do have a reason for this though. I’ve got a job coming up that isn’t what I usually do.

It’s for a magazine. They want to put a version of me as a high schooler up against a me as I head into adulthood.

So I thought I could make a cool gap if I had a more mature aura or something.

—Hm… And so that’s why you said all of that.

I don’t exactly have much confidence in this area. So I was watching you to see if I could pick up a few tricks.

—From HiMERU’s perspective, it seems as if you have plenty of confidence, Sazanami. At the same time, if you don’t think you’re suited for this, then there’s no reason to force yourself to do it.

It’s always possible to take a different approach within your own area of expertise.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and you don’t have to force yourself to use a weapon you’re not good at handling.

That’s true and all, but it also sucks ass to just let my weaknesses stay weaknesses. It’d be worse to stop growing as an idol.

Besides, having a new weapon would expand my horizons as an idol.

—Hm. HiMERU does understand your perspective. In any case, such self-discipline isn’t displeasing. That said, though, HiMERU doesn’t know if he is the right person to give you advice.

……

…It’s been said that those who practice tea ceremony or figure skating carry themselves beautifully. Perhaps it’s because they’re so precise with every single one of their movements.

(HiMERU isn’t sure what Sazanami is referring to with his commentary.)

(HiMERU tirelessly trained his muscles down to his very fingertips in his pursuit to be the perfect idol, so that any onlooker may see him as such.)

(Will his advice even be of use for Sazanami…?)

Ohh, I gotcha. Yeah, I never paid that much attention to how I move.

But when you’re aware of everything, right down to your fingertips… Uhh, so like this? I’ll just brush up my hair…

……

—Sazanami. You’re trying a little too hard.

You should look a little more natural, like this…

Huh, you really are good at this. Like a total pro.

No, HiMERU already told you he doesn’t really do this on purpose.

Sure, sure. Just accept it, I’m giving you a compliment.

Umm, so how’s this?

—Hmm… Your hands are posed well, but the rest of you is too unrefined. How about showing off the nape of your neck a little more?

Something like… this.

Oh, I gotcha…! Like this?

No, no. More. You aren’t drawing the eye. You have to be sexier! Flaunt yourself!

Man… this is tough.

So maybe—this?

What in blue blazes are y’all doin’…?

S–Sakura-kun?!

Hrm… mm…? (looking him up and down)

What y’all do with your time is none of my business, but even if you take this in the best faith possible, goin’ around posing with your hair all brushed up in the break room is so cringe.

Wait…! You’ve got it all wrong, Oukawa.

Yeah! We’re just, like, training! I was having HiMERU teach me some tricks and stuff!

Yeah, okay. You’re really putting a whole hell of a lotta effort into this narcissistic training thing, but I won’t get in your way. I’m outta here, so keep at it~

Narcissistic?! Gaaah!!! No, you got it all mixed up! Hold on a sec! C’mon, please hear me out!

HiMERU is going after him, Sazanami! He can’t let Oukawa have such a shameful misunderstanding about him!

Yeah, that’s my line! Wait up, Sakura-kun!