Chapter 37

…A–are you still alive, Yuuki?

I can barely believe it myself, but I think so, Hidaka-kun.

You look like shit. And why are your clothes all torn up? Was your special training really that hard?

And you look like you’re dead. You sound like a ghost, too.

Looks like we both got a little taste of hell, huh.

And this is gonna continue for two whole weeks, huh.

I kind of regret it. I might die halfway through. If that happens, I leave everything in your hands.

We might have just sold our souls to the devil.

That’s a pretty fitting comparison. Fufufu, I can’t help but laugh now that I’m here. If we don’t win against the student council, I might literally die from shock.

Yeah, we’re definitely going to win. If we don’t, all of the blood, sweat, and tears we’ve shed will mean nothing.

You cried, Hidaka-kun? I can’t even imagine your face with tears in your eyes.

It’s because I was laughing so hard. That was the point of my special training—that I need to be more relaxed and easy-going.

The twins kept doing a manzai routine for me, and if I didn’t laugh they’d tickle me all over. They wouldn’t let up, so I very nearly died from laughter.

They also made me eat a lot of sour foods in the spirit of becoming more flexible.

And after that, they made me do flexibility exercises… I can’t even begin to understand what that was for.

I laughed so much my stomach hurts, my face hurts… If I didn't laugh at the right time when they made certain gestures, they’d tickle me again. It was torture.

But thanks to them, I did gain a lot more insight. Into comedy, at least.

We’re supposed to be idols though, aren’t we…?

Yeah. That’s what we signed up for at least, but they were essentially drilling me on comedy. And at one point, they even made me do my own routine.

A comedy routine by you… Nope, can’t imagine that one, either. What was it like?

Don’t make me say it—I just want to forget it all. But even so, I have to get used to this.

They kept telling me over and over to be stupider. So I got stupider… I really tried, I tried so hard.

It’s fine, Hidaka-kun. You don’t have to say anything. You did your best.

I guess your special training was more like psychological torture. Mine was physical though… God, my whole body’s sore.

Oogami-kun said I’ve got no strength, so he chased me around with a bamboo sword and made me do muscle training, go jogging…

And like, bungee jumping and stuff.

What do you mean by that?

He made me bungee jump off the roof, saying it’d make me stop being such a coward…

Over and over and over, until the teachers found us and we got in trouble.

I think he got fed up partway through, though, ‘cause the last time we went, he tried to make me jump without even hooking me to a rope.

Wait, wouldn’t that just be jumping to my own death?!

Urgh. And my glasses fell off and broke one of those times, too.

I’ve got some spares on now, but for whatever reason Oogami-kun keeps getting mad when he sees them! I don’t get it—Why?!

What else… He dropped me in a hole full of reptiles and other creepy-crawlies wriggling around in it…

And he put me on a motorcycle with some guy he knows, and he made me play chicken, and he shot me with a fake gun…?

How is this even idol training? What is an idol, anyway?

I feel like you’re going to get PTSD from that. You really went through hell, huh.

The worst part of it is that I have no idea what any of this has to do with improving my skill as an idol!

…Hey, Hidaka-kun. You don’t think we’re just being jerked around by Sakuma-senpai, do you?

Don’t go there, Yuuki.

If I don’t keep telling myself that this special training is a necessary hardship for us to grow, I’ll lose all strength to go on.

For now we just have to believe and keep going, dreaming that someday our hard work will pay off.

You know what I just realized? While we’re over here being forced to go through this nightmare training, Akehoshi-kun is out on some happy-go-lucky date with the new girl, isn’t he?

That’s right. For some reason, that really pisses me off.

Yep, it’s not fair that only Akehoshi-kun is exempt.

Yeah, even though we’re supposed to be a unit ♪

We’re all friends, right? So Akehoshi-kun should go through the same agony and despair as we do ♪

Hm?

What’s up, Hidaka-kun?

…Oh, it’s the new girl!

Are you alone? Weren’t you supposed to be with Akehoshi-kun?

Wh–what’s wrong? Don’t pull on me so hard! My muscles are still sore, and I swear I’m gonna fall apart if I’m not careful!

What’s wrong, transfer student? Explain what’s going on clearly.

Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out somehow. So just take some deep breaths and calm down.

…Something happened with Akehoshi?

Yuuki, can you move? I’m not following too well, but this feels like an emergency.

I was hoping we could just head home today and sleep like the dead, but unfortunately it looks like that’s not going to happen.

Yeah, I’m coming… It really is one thing after another, huh. But I’m actually starting to enjoy myself!